Many angels crossed my path today.
Today was a hard day, but it was a good day.
*I had my yearly physical with my healthcare provider this morning. Toward the end of the appointment, I started crying and I told her I was struggling with dealing with my mom, and that I felt like I needed to talk to someone to deal with the depression and grief I was experiencing. She asked if Mom was on Hospice, and I said yes. Her suggestion was to use the grief counselors they provide through Hospice. She had used them herself, and she said they would be very helpful. She was the first angel of the day.
Today was a hard day, but it was a good day.
*I attended Ellen Barrett’s funeral service at our church this morning. As I sang the hymns In the Garden and How Great Thou Art, as well as reciting the 23rd Psalm, tears came to my eyes thinking about the inevitable fact that family and friends will gather in this same place in the future to celebrate the life of my mother. But there were angels at the service this morning. Women I had not seen all summer at church because I have been unable to attend, asking me how Mom is doing, and telling me they missed me. It felt good to be missed.
Today was a hard day, but it was a good day.
*My friend Kellee and I had been texting back and forth throughout the morning, and just at the right time, I received these simple words in one her texts: “How are you doing? How is your Mom doing?” My favorite Italian roommate angel sent the right message at just the right time today. And it was nice to be able to say to someone, “I’m not doing that great”, and that I knew she understood. In the midst of the loneliness I had been experiencing, a ray of light burst through with four simple words....how are you doing? Even though you know people in your life care, sometimes it is good just to be reminded. I told her that her and Paul were my rocks right now.
Today was a hard day, but it was a good day.
*As I sat with Mom early in the afternoon, another angel entered my life. Andrea, the nurse from Hospice arrived. She explained some things to me about how we can best keep Mom pain free. She was very good about explaining what Mom’s body is going through, and how she can be comfortable. Mom has had some good days, and I have had good stretches with Mom this week. But Andrea explained how Mom’s body is dealing with a condition that makes it hard for her heart and lungs to do their job. Toward the end of the conversation, my tears started flowing again, and I asked about talking to one of the grief counselors, and how I would go about contacting someone. Andrea was very compassionate and explained how it all worked, and said she would put me in contact with one of the Hospice social workers this afternoon.
Today was a hard day, but a good day.
*Paul arrived to be with Mom, so I came home so I could type up all the information that Andrea shared with me so I could share it with my siblings. In the middle of this process, I received a phone call from another angel. As promised by Andrea, one of the social workers called to talk. Again, through many tears, I shared with her some of my struggles. One of the things she told me that really helped was to not look at the past, but to look at the here and now. We talked for about 30 minutes or so, and she was very helpful. But I think I just scratched the surface, and I look forward to talking to either her or another Hospice Social Worker soon.
Today was a hard day, but a good day.
*Back on January 15 when I began gathering my daily graces, I shared that grace is synonymous with mercy, kindness and goodwill. I have been shown much grace today. Many were God’s hands and feet as they reached out and touched me with His gracious love. I have gathered these graces all together and have hid them in my heart to retrieve when I need some light in my world that is often now filled with times of darkness.
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