*Well, the thing I had been hoping wouldn’t happen happened this morning. I slept through my first three classes. Not a good way to start the day. I think what happened is, my regular alarm went off at 2 a.m., which is really about 1:45 a.m. (I purposefully have the time set about 15 minutes ahead of the regular time.) I usually turn that alarm off, then I wait for the alarm on my Kindle tablet to go off at the actual time of 2 a.m. But I have been having some issues with my Kindle cord, so my Kindle was plugged it, but it did not charge all night, so the second alarm did not go off. Fortunately I woke up in time to do my last two classes. And the first three students I had on my schedule did not use a substitute teacher, and so I will teach them either tomorrow or the next day and it will be the same scheduled class that should have been on Monday. I was hoping this wouldn’t have happened, but it did. I just need to be more vigilant at night to make sure both of my alarms are working.
*Monday is my “get prepared” day for the upcoming week....at least that is what I hope it turns out to be. I sat with my calendar and my planner and a legal pad, and started scheduling things that I want to accomplish into my upcoming days. It continues to be a work in progress. But hopefully this will help me get things done.
*Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist is a book I just finished listening to with the help of my Echo Dot in the kitchen. The message from each of the books I have recently read by this author have really hit home in many ways. I love this description she has on her website about her book Bittersweet:
“The idea of bittersweet is changing the way I live, unraveling and re-weaving the way I understand life. Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a moment of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich even when it contains a splinter of sadness. “It’s the practice of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet, and that a life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul. Bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us to push through, what helps us earn the lines on our faces and the calluses on our hands. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity. Bittersweet is courageous, gutsy, audacious, earthy.”
I want to be able to take the bittersweet moments from my life, and find the beauty and depth in these moments.
*On my last trip to The Dollar Tree in Coeur d’Alene, I picked up some Valentine’s decorations. One of the signs said “Love Is All You Need”. It made me think about love, and how I experience love in my life. I am very fortunate and blessed to be married to an incredible person who loves me more than I can even understand or comprehend at times. Lately I have been focusing on God’s love for me, and really trying to understand it. I don’t think I understand it. I don’t think I live like I understand how deeply God loves me. Through my study of God’s word, I am trying to understand unconditional love. I haven’t felt a lot of self love lately. And when I don’t see myself as God sees me, then, for me, I also lose the capacity to reach out and share love with others. And my heart feels cold, and weird and somewhat closed. I want my heart to be warm and opening and inviting. There is a line in the Beatle’s song All You Need Is Love that says “There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be....its easy.” Sometimes love is easy. With Paul, it is often easy. But with myself, it has become hard.
No comments:
Post a Comment