I wish I was motivated most of the time by kindness, or goodwill to others, or looking out for my fellow man.
But if I'm honest, one of my biggest motivators in my life is FEAR OF FAILURE.
Not the noblest of motivators, but, if I am honest, that is what keeps me going sometimes.
Yesterday I was in charge of organizing an assembly at Kellogg High School.
I didn't want to fail....I wanted it to be a good assembly...and the fear of failing helped me put in a good effort to get it organized.
And I think this fear often helps me determine choices I make in my life. I weigh trying something on whether I will fail or not.
It isn't that failure just devastates me. I do feel like I learn from failing.
But I like accomplishing things, rather than failing at them.
And I do like taking risks in certain things, but, again, I weigh the risk to determine how much it will make me look like a failure.
Is this just really weird?
I wonder.
2 comments:
I think this is true for most of us. They say that golfers fear the bogey more than desire the birdie. As I have gotten older I have more appreciation for the process and realize that even our intended outcomes are probably too small in the big picture. God uses 'cracked pots' (2 Cor. 4) so that the glory is His.
It is always interesting to learn more about the sibling you thought you knew quite a bit about. This does surprise me. I don't have the fear of failure, but the overwhelming feeling that I can't complete it. This will be a good conversation to continue when we are together.
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