As I have made my way through adulthood, one thing I have learned to do is what I have come to call "insulating insecurities".
This is a way of staying away from things that make me uncomfortable, or things I am insecure about trying or doing.
I like to do a lot of different things. I have a lot of interests.
But the majority of things I do I can somewhat predict the outcome. Or at least it won't involve my humiliation.
That is a big part of insulating insecurities....avoiding at all costs being made a fool of, or being humiliated.
So I surround myself with things I know I can do. And focus on them. Oh, sure, I try new things, but I take a while to weigh if I can deal with trying something without being made a fool.
Oh, it doesn't always work. Sometimes something slips through my armor, and I am in a predicament. But I survive, red faced and all.
Sometimes I laugh.
Sometimes I cry.
Sometimes I can't even talk about it.
But it shapes who I am, warts and all. And that is okay. A momentary affliction in my life.
And I will survive!!