One of her books is called "The Summer of the Great Grandmother". It is a book about her mother spending the summer at her big farmhouse in Connecticut, the summer she dies.
It is how one family, with four generations under one roof, dealt with the death of the great grandmother.
They experienced the death. They let her die in this house. They all experienced the pain of death and dying.
I remember rereading this book when my father was dieing. It was very comforting.
Each death is different. The way we experience death, in each circumstance, is different.
Death can change us. We can be devastated by a person's death.
We can be shocked, because a death can be unexpected.
We can be thankful for a death, because of the way our loved one is living, and knowing that they are now in Heaven and are no longer suffering is a blessing.
There is not a formula to how we respond to death. Everyone responds in their own way. And I think we should let people respond in their own way.
It is hard. It is unique.
Some people are affected for years and years by someone's death.
Some people are affected in more public ways.
But let them be. Let people grieve as they see fit.
We are not to judge the grieving process of someone.
When I recently went and saw the play "W!t", the main character is a professor who studies John Donne poems, and she quoted from this poem:
72. "Death be not proud, though some have called thee"