My favorite author is Madeleine L'Engle.

One of her books is called "The Summer of the Great Grandmother".  It is a book about her mother spending the summer at her big farmhouse in Connecticut, the summer she dies.

It is how one family, with four generations under one roof, dealt with the death of the great grandmother.

They experienced the death.  They let her die in this house.  They all experienced the pain of death and dying.

I remember rereading this book when my father was dieing.  It was very comforting.

Each death is different.  The way we experience death, in each circumstance, is different.

Death can change us.  We can be devastated by a person's death.

We can be shocked, because a death can be unexpected.

We can be thankful for a death, because of the way our loved one is living, and knowing that they are now in Heaven and are no longer suffering is a blessing.

There is not a formula to how we respond to death.  Everyone responds in their own way.  And I think we should let people respond in their own way. 

 It is hard.  It is unique. 

Some people are affected for years and years by someone's death.

Some people are affected in more public ways.

But let them be.  Let people grieve as they see fit.

We are not to judge the grieving process of someone.

When I recently went and saw the play "W!t", the main character is a  professor who studies John Donne poems, and she quoted from this poem:
72. "Death be not proud, though some have called thee"
DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.
To me death is not a scary thing.  To me, death is being in the presence of God for ever and ever and worshiping Him.  But however you view death, I hope that view brings you peace.

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