Insulating Insecurities

As I have made my way through adulthood, one thing I have learned to do is what I have come to call "insulating insecurities".

This is a way of staying away from things that make me uncomfortable, or things I am insecure about trying or doing.

I like to do a lot of different things.  I have a lot of interests.

But the majority of things I do I can somewhat predict the outcome.  Or at least it won't involve my humiliation.

That is a big part of insulating insecurities....avoiding at all costs being made a fool of, or being humiliated.

So I surround myself with things I know I can do.  And focus on them.  Oh, sure, I try new things, but I take a while to weigh if I can deal with trying something without being made a fool.

Oh, it doesn't always work.  Sometimes something slips through my armor, and I am in a predicament.  But I survive, red faced and all.

Sometimes I laugh.

Sometimes I cry.

Sometimes I can't even talk about it.

But it shapes who I am, warts and all.  And that is okay.  A momentary affliction in my life. 

And I will survive!!